SPD yeah you know me

My little bug has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)

Easter Holidays

I recently started a new job .oO(I guess it is more like starting a new contract). I don’t have a full-time I just do contracting work from time to time while I am changing careers. The point is, in starting a new job I have been spending very little time at home. It is interesting to note the changes between being a full-time parent and suddenly having to switch to full-time worker. The position is an eight hour day with a one hour lunch and a one hour commute each way. I get up and leave the house before my little bug gets up and I am back in time to spend about five to ten minutes with him before he goes to bed.

Cue the Easter long-weekend holiday. I am not a religious man but I live in a country founded on christian beliefs and if there is one thing that the christians do it is a public holiday .oO(sure the jews to a much longer christmas). I have been able to spend four whole days just soaking up the family love and giving out some of my own. I love being with my family, we don’t have to be doing things together but I miss the proximity of them when they are not there.

So to the christians who rule my country thank you for the holiday but seriously get over yourselves on the other narrow minded crap.

Promiscuous Parking

I noticed that most of the people who park in the carpark at work seem to park in the same spot every day. I mentioned how monogamous people are about their car parking spot to a colleague the other day who said that they just did it without thinking. This got me thinking about how I park and found that I am also a monogamous parker. Not really wanting to be a monogamous parker (not that there is anything wrong with it. All my friends and family are) I wondered if it was possible to become a promiscuous parker but subconsciously like my monogamous parkers are. Most mornings I still have to remind myself to park in a different spot but I have learnt not to have to think about which one I park in. I am able to let it come naturally and I am sure by the end of my contract I won’t have to think about it at all. I will all become natural.

Taking care of the Family

“I have no problem with my partner earning more than me”. It is a statement that you hear a lot these days but is it really true? Or are we deluding ourselves? I have recently started a full-time position and I am making more money than I have in a long time. I have this extraordinary feeling knowing that I am looking after my family financially. This feeling helps me though, when I have to get up at six in the morning, when I am struggling to get through the day, when I am not feeling well and want to take a sick day, and it even helps me to continue to push through my studies after work as I know that everything is moving in the right direction. Would I feel the same if my partner was earning more than me? Probably not, I guess it is the gender stereotyping that happens while you are growing up. My father was the bread winner and my mum was a house wife. I am not saying that that is what I want for my family and I also wouldn’t be upset if my partner made more money than I. What I am saying is that I would feel different.

Christenings

My sister is Christening her son soon and I have just made the ridiculously difficult discovery that my finances cannot stretch far enough to attend .oO(it is killing us not being there). It’s got me thinking about Christenings and what they mean. For the uninitiated the Christening marks the day that your parents sign you up, on your behalf, to a religion (Christianity) which is all well and good because you get an opt out clause that lets you leave whenever you like .oO(I did and no one hunted me down to drag me back. It’s not like Scientology). The thing that has really got me thinking is, at a Christening your parents assign “god” parents (Guardians) who will help to keep you on the the right track and if the worst should happen they will take over the roles as parents .oO(some take this a little more seriously that others. I couldn’t tell you who my “god” parents are or why they didn’t step in to have me removed from the care of an alcoholic). What is really getting to me is that my wife and I have not put this measure in place for our little bug, and if we did who could we trust. All the people who I know are religious, racist, homophobic, have a loose relationship with the truth or just don’t have the same philosophies or ideals as I do .oO(most wouldn’t even be able to tell you what my ideals are). Sad as this is it is sadder to think that because we had our child late in life it is an increased possibility, it sickens me to think about it.

Letting go

I am a compulsive hoarder, I have an addictive personality .oO(I get it from both of my parents). A couple of days ago we found that bug had worn out his shoes and decided to throw them out. I really didn’t think it would affect me so much, after all, they weren’t my shoes .oO(which is a whole other problem in itself) but it did I just can’t stop thinking “we threw out his shoes” and it’s not like he doesn’t have other shoes. It just gets me down and I had to tell someone.

Things are looking up

Time is short or so ‘they’ say. My little bug was progressing slowly and I thought it was normal but it turns out that he was having trouble trouble hearing because of fluid in the ears so we had the operation and for a bit it seemed that there was no change. The other day we went for a hearing test and it went so smoothly that I nearly cried, bug is doing better at school and has even moved from nursery to the toddlers room and is walking unaided almost every where. Yesterday, with the help of my wife we assembled a swing set and sand pit (I have no sand for it at the moment but we filled it with plastic balls) bug is yet to see it as the last two days have been school days but tomorrow isn’t and I hope we can go out into the back yard and play for a bit. I’ll tell you what I do love, and that is going to pick him up from school and just standing where bug can’t see me and I can watch him play he does not interact with the other children and I hope that is normal for his age (I don’t want him to end up like his parent having no friends).

Time to man up

I have been a stay-at-home dad (and full-time student) for a little over a year now and while it has been great and I wouldn’t trade it for the world, reality has caught up with me. Reality states that to continue to move forward in life there is a price to be paid. The price is usually money but is also time and the two are generally mutually exclusive, often you need to use up one to get the other. So with less than a year to go on my degree I have been trying to dip my toe in the waters of employment to get back in the swing of things and make a little extra money to take the pressure off of the financial situation that comes from being a family with two unemployed adults. Anyway my first attempt was as a Manager at Gloria Jean’s Coffees which I got no response from (what ever happened to letting people know that they weren’t successful). My next attempt was recently I applied for a christmas casual position at Typo with much the same response (and this time I shaved of my beard, the one I had been growing for almost a year to do Movember which I have been trying to do for the last couple of years #cry. The least they could have done was let me know). So now I am trying to get a traineeship in Information Technology which is the field I have worked in the most (a traineeship! can you believe it). I just hope I get something soon, relieve some of the financial pressures but more importantly relieve some of the worry and stress from my wife.

Haven’t seen you for Ears and Ears but I still Nose ya

My little bug had to have an operation on Monday. Everything went as well as can be expected, bug was quite boisterous the next day and all our efforts to keep the environment quiet were for naught. I am not sure for how long but bug had fluid in the ears making it quite difficult to hear, that is compounded by the fact that bug has childhood sleep aponea and so development has been a little stunted. We went to see an ENT and he decided that the best course of action would be to have grommets put in and adenoids taken out and when bug turns three to have the tonsils taken out as well.

In preparation for the surgery we kept bug home from school .oO(our name for early childhood education centre) the week before and we haven’t sent him this week either, because they are a breeding ground for sicknesses. The whole week was very nerve wracking and anxiety ridden. The day itself was hard and when bug came back from surgery with the bandage on the cannula it just looked so painful and to watch my little bug hold that arm frozen trying not to move it was heart breaking. We’re back at home and for all intents and purpose our bug may as well have never had a surgery as everything is as it was before. Children bounce back so quickly, I am still waiting with baited breath to see if this will have a positive effect on development, that will have to be another post though as it is still to soon to tell.

Letter to father

I sat in a cafe the other day and penned this first draft of the letter I was going to send my father.

 

Father,

I am writing to you today to say that although I thought it was great that you and my Sister came and visited for the weekend, I was appalled at your behavior on the Saturday night. Whatever made you think that it was okay to arrive at another man’s house inebriated I will never know. I had half a mind not to let you in but my baby was asleep and I did not wish to upset my Sister.

This letter serves as your first and last warning. You will not be permitted into my house or near my child, for that matter, while under the influence of alcohol. This is not negotiable. I would rather my baby never know his Grandfather then to know the man I grew up with.

If there is anything I can do to help you with this task you need only ask and I shall do all I can to help.

your son
scott